Hey there mama. Welcome to another episode of the Mama Bliss in Life and Biz podcast, episode 40.
Today we are going to talk about the fear of putting yourself out there as a coach. So before we begin, I have to let you know the honest truth is that this sensation never goes away and that is okay because it is an emotion that is going to move. So let’s just remember our mantra that I’m sure if you were like me, you repeated a lot when your kiddos were in the early years. This too shall pass. So it’s perfectly normal to be feeling that apprehension of coming out to the world. As a coach. And that is okay because every time we practice, some of these techniques I’m going to share with you today is just going to to get that much easier. So that is the key word though, putting yourself out there.
Because as I share over and over again on this podcast and any of my other content, half of your efforts, half of your tasks every day, if you take the career path or um, you’re following your life, calling to help others through a coaching modality is going to look like marketing yourself. And the truth is, of course, Amy business. You’re going to be spending a good chunk of your time doing the good old, good old getting the word out. This is what you do until you hit a stride and you’re getting a nice revenue coming in that perhaps you can outsource some of those tests. But even still, a lot of it is going to have to be you. People are needing to build the know, like, and trust factor with your face, with your voice, with your words. And that is something that you can’t immediately or in some cases ever outsourced.
So now is the time to start getting comfortable being uncomfortable with putting yourself out there and speaking about getting comfortable, being uncomfortable immediately. My mind goes to a few things. First of all is a Yogi. Getting in one of those [inaudible] positions like I was attempting to yesterday. Um, you pick up strategies and luckily I was an Ashtanga yoga teacher and I was able to apply some of the you dry breath when I was birth and my babies. And now today I’m applying some of the strategies. I use Burton babies into my coaching biz. And if you get a chance to head over to my Facebook page, bliss beyond nap time, you will see on my last weekly mama bliss show, I got a little bit deeper into breathing into the sensations that going out there saying, Hey, I am a coach. This is how you can work with me.
How to breathe through that uncomfortableness? Um, the sensation and I’m just so, so witty. I called it, you know, becoming a coach is sensational cause it’s gonna bring up a lot of sensations. Isn’t that clever? Okay. So, but today we are going to get into some techniques I use and I coach my clients through. And you know, the truth is you’re going to feel this apprehension at the very, very beginning of this journey. I’m sure if you are listening to this, even if you’re just mulling over becoming a coach, there’s going to be some uncomfortable feelings there. So this is going to help you through that. And if you are in the thick of your training, um, all these feelings are going to come up at all stages. Even once you are established. Cause we’re constantly growing. This is a opportunity for personal growth. We are so blessed with this.
We’re so blessed to be living in a time where we have the technology to reach out to our ideal clients in this magical way. And also that life coaching is becoming more normalized so that people, it’s going to be a lot of the heavy work has been done for us. You know, the, uh, what do you call them? The trailblazers have helped and life coaching become more of a mainstream phenomenon idea that people can wrap their heads around. So we don’t have to worry so much about the educating about what it is, but now it’s our opportunity to be like, duh, here I am. I’m a coach too. Isn’t that awesome? This is what I can help you with. So we’ve got to get comfortable with that. So first of all, we need to get started on tapping into, I know this is so cliche almost these days, but it’s true.
It’s leaning on your why. So the good news is please don’t sweat yourself. You know, too much over what, uh, why is so any kind of why. So mostly so what I mean by any kind of why I shared how there’s the big Ys and little whys. Meaning you can get very altruistic and say, you know, I want to serve moms so that they could tap in to their most patient sides so that they could, you know, really remember, um, you know, the, the, the excitement of this at the beginning of this mothering journey or whatever. Um, or you can get very much into the practical piece. My big why is I want to start earning an income in a way that really, uh, lights my fire in the morning, makes me jump out of bed with glee, um, to get started to work. Uh, but I’m kind of looking here in the middle of the road.
Why in terms of let’s think more the problems that you are going to help your ideal clients move through in your particular area of niche. So that is why and mama bliss coaching school, even though it’s a coaching training program for moms, I work a lot with my students in establishing who exactly are you gonna work with. So the third module is all about, about thinking of your ideal mama. So even within the realm of coaching moms, what kind of mom are you gonna coach? Let’s get specific here. And that mama, um, you know, in that one targeted market, um, what is she struggling with very specifically. So lean on that and then think of those future clients who are super excited to not only move through that struggle because like we said at the very beginning of this episode, this too shall pass by getting to move through that with someone kind of virtually holding their hands and not only someone but that someone being you.
So if you work with a coach and if you haven’t, I encourage you to work with one, any kind of coach and any kind of niche and just tap into that feeling of that excitement and meeting someone that you’re like excited to partner up with through this particular struggle. It’s happened to me over and over and over again. It is just a beautiful and explicable things, something that you need to experience. So just for fun, I thought too, I could share with you an example outside of the fear of becoming a coach. So this is something that you can apply to any area of your life where you’re feeling that there is a huge unknown and hello that isn’t that what makes up life is one constant unknown after another. So I’m totally going to use a fake name. Actually I’m not gonna use any names, but I have a dear friend who is considering getting a puppy into her family and she’s sharing with me, you know, she’s this close and I think she might even be committed to doing this perhaps you know, she put down a deposit or something and guess what?
She is having cold feet in a big way. And again I’m fresh from getting a puppy land and I told her, Oh my God, I can totally relate. I experienced the same feeling like I was just, I don’t know if I want to do this. I don’t know if this puppy is going to get along with my beloved seven year old pup a, I don’t know if it’s going to be a pain in the butt because our beloved seven year old puppy is pretty much perfect. He lives up to his name. Angel, he’s going to be a tough act to follow. And I just, having our angel here is like not having a dog. It’s like having my best friend. It’s like no work at all. It’s totally pain in the butt free zone here and so I can relate to it. So I coached her through it because my middle of the road Y um, or one of my big why’s with getting the second puppy.
There’s many reasons, but the one in particular I was really was the one that was pushing me forward more most was that I just felt that my seven year old dog love him so much. I felt the window was closing for us to get another one and I wanted him to have, um, someone to keep them company. Cause I normally I work downstairs in my office, but I’m still up here in the kitchen while a little Wilber learns the ropes and doesn’t stops freaking out every time I leave there. So, um, I wanted some companionship for my seven year old P and also he just seemed kind of blahzay and I thought, well maybe we get the puppy. He might be playful again. And sure enough, uh, we’re very blessed. We’re very, we’re very, um, thank God it the word is worked. It didn’t work at first.
Angel was not amused. And guess what? Now they’re the best of friends. So mission accomplished. So I asked my friend, um, and actually I didn’t even ask her if she volunteered when she was thinking out loud and hello as coaches, that’s pretty much what we do with our clients. We just hold that space for them to think out loud. While she was doing that, she said, I really want this roommate for my son. You know, it’s, he’s at the age where this would be perfect. And I was able to connect with her on that because that was another one of my littler wise, I have a son too. When we got our angel, he was only a toddler. So I felt that this might be a different really special experience for him. So I suggested that perhaps she leans on that why and if it’s a matter of, you know what, it’s like, not workout, but lean on that way.
And then that way, all these other tips I’m going to share with you shortly can build upon that. Okay. So yes. So thinking of that, why is it worth it? Um, yeah. Cause at the Italia, you know, seeing even my son now with the puppy, it’s just my heart can explode. And seeing the puppy with my seven year old angel, um, it’s so worth it. So go for it. But also, um, applying that to your coaching, think of that ideal client of yours in that particular niche, going through that particular struggle who would just be so lit up if they knew that you, your particular combination of skills and experience and that chemical combustion that happens when you to get on discovery call together and is that worth it? Yeah. Then go for it. So number two tip is, um, so to help you get over the fear of putting yourself out there as a coach.
When was the last time you felt some fearfulness here? So whatever work there apply applied to this situation. So, um, I’m not going to get into another birthing analogy cause I use a lot of those in my work and you can check out my last podcast. I went carets easy. Um, episode 39. You could check that out with uh, at list B on that time.com forward slash 39 and that is my [inaudible] guide to childbirth wisdom applied to your coaching biz. But this one, uh, I have a couple of different analogies. So as a kid I grew up with a mom who was a seamstress, so she made me all my clothes. So of course as a junior high kid, um, you know, I didn’t think that was very much a winning the life lottery situation, but I still was intrigued by the magic that is getting to create something out of nothing.
So what my mum did, she got these magazines from the German, this German bakery that she was able to special order. And again, this is back in the day, they didn’t have the internet, so we had to order them first of all through a third party order, these magazines. So that’s kind of funny and fun fact that family that owned the German bakery, we’re actually cousins with my now current husband, my only cousin. And so anyways, I thought that was it. Wow. What a small world. But anyways, um, so we would get these magazines or print Germany and she, you can choose a outfit from there and the pattern to make that outfit was in this magazine. So cool. So then, um, my mom would be like, yeah, choose some from here. And it was so fun. But the thing is they were, she would say, um, these fashions are five years ahead of Canadian fashion sense.
So I was really, I remember it was almost in my head playing a game because a part of me, you know, as a, you know, probably EDIS age, a little younger, 12 year old Kathysita, you know, any 12 year old wants to fit in and look like all the cool kids. But I thought, well maybe I can be like five years cooler. So it was a little scary making. So my trick that I worked on back in the day, um, as a kid is I would just put on the outfit my mum made, I won’t get into details, but they were pretty funny. Plaid Knickerbockers with matching tie neck tie situations. Um, and I would dare myself to put it on and go to school. And in my head I’d be like, once I leave the door, there’s no going back. That works for me in my business sometimes to be honest, sometimes I’m like, I’m just going to declare that I’m putting on I E you know, a webinar or a five day challenge on this date and there is no turning back.
And, um, so that is something I suggest to you, YouTube is to whatever has worked for you to move through the fear. Something just get committed. So sign up for being an expert on a panel in your community or offered to host a workshop at your local women’s center or if you know, volunteer to speak at your local chamber of commerce. Um, just commit to it. And then from then on it’s just prepare for it. Take it moment by moment. Okay, what’s the next step? And then again, the next tips here can build upon that. Um, okay. My next trick is one that a pretty stoked because you guys, if you head over to bliss beyond naptime.com forward 40 because this is podcast episode 40. I have a gift for you that is related to this next tip. So this one is all about training your subconscious.
So what I mean by that of course is doing, again, everything’s kind of building on each other and noticing whatever has worked in the past. Applying that in terms of meditation, working on mantra with mantras or tapping, making a vision board, whatever you notice has worked for you in the past. What has worked for me has been almost like a combination of quotes and mantras that I picked over, uh, picked up, um, over my life that I often apply now whenever I’m feeling some fearfulness. So, for instance, I got a few and my gift for you for this podcast episode is I made some wallpapers for you to put on your screen so that you too can remember this. If you hear a little bit quickly about the backstory for each one of these. So, um, this is funny, but back in the day before I met my husband, I have this tendency to be honest, when I meet a cute guy, I take up whatever extreme sport that they’re into.
And then the moment we break up, I drop it like a hot minute. So I met Craig. I took up rock climbing even though I dated another rock climber. And as soon as we, it didn’t work out with him, I was just like, I’m never dating a rock climber again, but I dunno if you’ve seen pictures of Craig, but he’s pretty cute. He was, you know, he was worth that, taking it up again. But I did a few boyfriends before Craig. I dated this, um, guy who’s really into mountain biking. So I got into mountain biking and um, he used to tell me that when we would get to a, like a tricky spot where you’d have to, you know, go down something steep or even going up steep was almost just as scary. He would say, uh, hesitation, kills, hesitation kills. So that turned into like probably not my most Waldorf fee friendly, um, mantra of all time.
But it was a reminder to me that sometimes if we just kind of, um, get a little clunky, um, that is when we fall off the bike figuratively. So that has since turned into my mantra in terms of in business and especially if you are declaring yourself, um, as being an expert, someone who can help others because they had the skills or the know how. I’m a little bit more than the average lay person that you have to keep the momentum. So every day doing something that is going to build upon the previous steps so that you can reach your goals. So to make this a little bit more kumbaya, um, I like to offer, one of my wallpaper’s says, hesitation kills momentum. So all the work that you put into Greek coming to this point of your becoming a coach journey, keep moving it, keep taking the next step.
So hopefully that momentum or reaching that Y that perfectly for you, client who’s waiting for perfect for them, you to reach them, keep moving because that hesitation might kill that momentum. So don’t hesitate. Keep moving forward. Another one of the wallpapers I share with you is, um, my favorite. Well, it’s so funny. Um, I wanted to double check. I thought it was an Eleanor Roosevelt quote, but apparently it’s kind of been like mushed around a bit. So it’s the one that says do one thing every day that scares you. And this one was huge for me. I remember after my son was born, I got more fearful. I noticed I was probably the peak of it and that was the, um, the quote that really helped me move forward and interesting enough just to do a little bit of a wallpaper mish-mash. Um, what I did back then is I would, um, ride my bike into town every day because I was fearful back in those days of encountering country dogs.
There’s a lot of like crazy dogs in that neighborhood and I’m like, you know what, I’m just gonna go for it. And a part of that bike ride I took every day when I could. And actually even in the winter, um, it turned to cross country skiing. Um, was hesitation kills when it was a tricky part, like, um, riding my bike down a ditch to get up onto the road. It was just the single track, I would say it would come back again. So as you can see, all these life experiences can kind of rule around like little puppy dogs at play and support each other. What was the other, I have another one I know I got to check out, which was a hesitation. Kills, do some. Oh, okay. Here’s another wallpaper there. Um, so I was in Calgary a few years ago, uh, leaving my kids with Craig for a couple of weeks.
Snd, um, I think I was there for a funeral for some work. And, um, I got a call from Craig that my son was sick and I was talking Oh yeah, with a dear family friend of ours, um, who also happens to be our dentists. And I was telling him, Oh my God, I’m just so shaky right now cause you know, my son’s home with a really, really bad cough and you know, I’m not there to be there for him. I’m like, you know, I’m like the nurse mother. And he told me this great acronym that was just like, thank you because I repeat it to myself still whenever I’m feeling that sensation around anything come up. It’s fear stands for forgetting. Everything is all right. So how we can apply this to your coaching aspirations is what is the worst thing that can happen if you do put yourself out there as a coach.
So one suggestion would be journal about that and to take it even a bit, um, deeper get ridiculous. Just get audacious with, what’s the word we’re seeing that good happen. You know, get a little drama Queenie. If that is even a word is like, okay, if I put myself out there as a coach and someone signs up for my coaching package and it turns out that I do more damage and then they just start blabbing to the whole world, how terrible I am at this. And then they, um, you know, they assume me because they lost their child. Just keep going on and on. Just see really just how bad can it really get. And then when you get to the very, very most terrible thing that could possibly happen, you know, did you survive it and chances are very good that yes, you will overcome this.
Everything will be all right. So there you go. Check out those wallpapers. And if that isn’t something that speaks to you, then think of something that worked for you in the past. And then you can even head a, what I like to do is go to Etsy and then search in the search bar there for lettering. And then you could see final, these delightful artists that can make really, really beautiful, um, customize quotes that you can turn into a poster. And frame another point in this, and I can’t remember where I heard this, but it totally makes sense, is that whatever you’re feeling around putting yourself out there as a coach is probably a similar feeling that some that you’re perfect for you ideal client is struggling around in whatever particular area of struggle that they’re experiencing. So I was thinking if you are, um, experiencing this and you do get it lettered, how low, how pretty would it be?
Whoops, how pretty would it be if, um, you got that lettered up in a really dainty way that, you know, if you already have some branding going on with your website, something that’s complementary and then have that, um, brained and behind you. So if you’re going to be doing, uh, videos for either your coursework or even on your getting on a coaching call using zoom. So anything that’s video and that’s right behind you. I know, I love that when I’m working with a coach or if I’m watching someone I follow, um, it’s just, that’s helpful cause that resonates. So whatever resonates for you is probably gonna resonate with your ideal client. Okay. Um, Oh my goodness. I have so many tips here. Easy guys. Luckily I’m your hope you’re comfortable cause this might take a while. Um, okay. So if you’re feeling the fear of putting yourself out there as a coach, the best way to overcome this too is to get even more prepared.
So back to my puppy friend. So we explored this fear and I said, okay, you know what, what you’re saying here that you’re worried that this puppy sitch is going to bring some stressors to your days and you know your partner and you might start arguing about what a horrible decision this was. Um, because this dog’s a pain the butt. I said just to hurt, you know, I know you are a very, um, disciplined person and I, and you’re this thick. You’re like the queen of researching. I bet. Um, you would do what you have to take to make sure this is the most best behave puppy in the planet. And so do your due diligence and get the puppy trainer at your house like what we did before our dogs even showed up. Get the puppy trainer at your house and take the puppy training classes.
Um, apply what you’ve learned in the past to the situation today. What worked for me to making sure angel is an angel, is I parented him. I parented him in the sense that very clear, distinct boundaries. Um, I applied what worked with, when we had our milk cow, um, I was the alpha cow, be the alpha cow. So just putting on that energy and have, um, making sure that the house is prepared, not only, um, energetically like making sure everybody’s calm and there’s a really like a routine dialed in. Uh, but also, um, is puppy proof, do you know, so that there’s not all this like Tracy making. So, you know, we, before Wilbur came, we got, I took all the bugs possible outta here. Um, I put up barriers to early areas. There’s lots of power chords that he can chew on. So anyway, you get my point.
So, um, pure prepared. So with your coaching business, strengthen your coaching skills, hit up some friends and say, you know what I want to practice. Do you have friends who could appreciate, um, some free sessions or can I, you know, practice on you, um, get extra training for, um, particular people that you want to coach. And then at the end of each of your practice sessions or if you’re already out there coaching always ass, what was your favorite part of this session or what could have been more helpful? All the positive feedback. Keep a folder of those. I had this, um, this folder on my computer called fan mail. And it’s just all the words that when I read them, I feel really good about what I’m doing and all the positive testimonials. So make sure that if you’re feeling like, just continue strengthening, honing your skills so that this might diminish that fear.
Okay? I’m a way to help with getting over yourself is get a coach for yourself. So someone in your corner to remind you of your awesomeness and what you need to do to keep up that awesomeness. And again, coaches are often reminders of why they’re there, to remind you to remember what has worked in the past. So I just worked with a mine, mine, what do you call them? Mindset coach, what did, what was she? It was so awesome, but and not a butt. And she reminded me of some core things I knew about myself. It’s like go back to what has worked. So it was such an epiphany, but sometimes it does require getting coached yourself. And I always feel a coach should have a coach for many, many reasons. So if this is coming up for you and find yourself a coach and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
Okay, so here’s another one. So here’s a really funny story. Okay. So the word fear, this reminds me of when ed was a toddler. Craig and I actually took a parenting course together and it was really, it was really fun. Um, because some of, some of the advice we kind of, we just thought it was kind of silly. Um, not silly, but just kind of funny. Um, but one take away from this class was that, um, cause one of the advice was to when you’re reading your kid’s story to eliminate some of the words, some of the words in kid’s books, we’re just sending across a message about the world that wasn’t necessary, you know, at that phase, which I appreciate. I’m all about age appropriateness. Um, so one, so she had, um, actually brought in books that she had for her kids that she crossed out some of the words and then she would write at the top what to replace them with.
And to this day I still do this. I’m reading, um, uh, uh, what’s my kid’s name again? Kale. We’re reading the Harry Potter series and I noticed whenever the word stupid is there immediately, it’s like such a second habit. Now I switch it with the word silly. So what this lady to recommended was, um, if the word scary comes up to replace that with exciting. And so that was the one that me and Craig just, we just couldn’t go there. Um, you know, but maybe for some is totally like a personal thing, but maybe that would work for you if you’re parenting yourself through this, this obstacle, maybe switch it up. Maybe that would be helpful. Instead of saying, okay, I’m really scared to put myself out there as a coach. The reframe might be, I’m really excited, so if this resonates with you or even if it doesn’t, consider using this sensation of fear as excitement like a gentleman and see if you can use this sensation to feel yourself, to take action and to really, you know, to get you up in the morning and do the work or right before that coaching call.
So excited and to get out there and, and magic it is going to take over a part of your brain to allow you to do your best work, to be inspired by the muses at your most heightened state of consciousness. So notice that this works for you. And like everything else here, um, journal, take note of what works for you because Hey, this is going to again, help your ideal clients eventually in some capacity. Okay, couple more here. Um, this one’s pretty cool. A great reminder is knowing that the world is good. It’s full of kind people and they want, they’re rooting for you. They, they want the people out there aren’t there to just troll you for the most part. I like to believe that the energy you’re putting out is the energy you’re going to receive back. Okay. So one quick story cause I have to get, what’s my kid’s name again?
Kale from school. I’m just kidding. I’m being silly, being silly. So I was like, I got to speak on stage at world domination summit one year. Um, and I instantly regret it, regretted offering to do this. And, um, I was hyperventilating backstage. So the uh, the organizer to thing, uh, the grand Poobah, um, he was actually, I can’t pronounce his name, Chris Guillebeau is how you pronounce his name. He came backstage and he saw me. I was doing, you know what worked for me in the past, alternate nostril breathing, hyperventilating and he gave me the sweetest pep talk. He’s like, you know what, the people out there, there’s 3000, but they are the kindest, sweetest people you can imagine. And I could imagine, cause I’d been out there mingling with them, uh, wasn’t my first world domination summit. I’ve been out there and it’s true. It’s, it really attracts really kindhearted entrepreneurial peeps from all over the world.
It’s amazing. It’s almost like burning man but with more clothes. And so I went out there and I kept that in mind. It’s like they’re kind people. And luckily I was only able to see like about 50 people with the lighting and stuff. And dude, I was on fire. And again, like I was saying like that a altered state of consciousness, I started throwing out all these like sassy accents sometime I was embellishing my story. It was awesome. So think of it that way. Remember putting yourself as out there as a coach. The world is kind, people are going to support you energetically. And remember the rule of thumb, and I told my daughter this, even 33% of the world is going to love you. 30% three 33% of the world isn’t gonna. You’re not going to be their cup of tea, but they’re not necessarily going to be like assholes about it, right?
And 33% of the world, no matter what are going to be in different. So just focus on that 33% of the world that’s going to be like, Oh my God, you’re awesome. They are. If you just put yourself out there and not worry about it. Um, okay. My last one, last one, one last one, E. so just remember again, it’s basically going back to the original point. This feeling is, is temporary. When this fear comes up, just know as you breathe through it, it’s going to pass. And after it passes, take that baby step forward and then the fear is going to come back. Just like my mama bliss show. Talk about the waves, the waves. So make sure your your liking me on lesbian nap time, Facebook page cause I got that weekly show, this the time of recording. It’s October. So October 8th.
So just breathing through this contractions cause we’re birthing like a more evolved you LA, LA. So next time you are feeling that similar sensation of fear or if you, you know, you prefer excitement. Here we go. We’ve got a whole bunch of tools here that can move you forward and we’re going to go deeper in this, the days to come. Um, make sure you’re on the list and my email is, and a good way to make sure your on the list is to sign up for the wallpaper. So head over to [inaudible] dot com forward slash 40 and there you can, you can see where you can sign up to get some wallpaper with those three reminders up the quotes and my mantras that have worked for me in the past. But of course also I hope this inspires you to come up with your own. Okay, you guys. Time to go get little. What’s his name? Thanks for listening and we will listen to you neck. We will listen to you. Um, next time. Okay guys, thanks a lot. Bye.
SThanks for listening. Before you go, please subscribe to the show on iTunes or Stitcher. You can find the link to go to over Atlas, beyond app time.com backslash podcast. And while you’re there, I would love it if you would leave us a review. So more momma’s seeking the blessed that is becoming a coach can find the show. Thanks again and we’ll see you next time. Bliss be with you.